Remembering Doug.

Today. November 7. It is his birthday.
My little brother celebrated only 43 birthdays. He deserved 100,043 birthdays.
He was a beautiful soul who knew how to love. Everyone who met him felt his authenticity, love, and sweetness. He died a few years ago but is still missed every day.
Tonight, I had to write.

White-Flower

 

Doug

me and him
we made a pact
i would play war and
he would play Barbies
barbie dolls bored him
war bored me
we traded
joys and boredom
we didn’t time it
it just worked

he was brave through
all the Barbie doll
love stories
Barbie was Ken’s until
Francie came along with
bendable joints
tilting head to kiss
she always won for
this alone
When Doug acquired
GI Joe
now two boys, two girls
more stories
more outcomes
poor Doug

war outdoors
on the steep sloping lawn
James Cagney style
taking turns
top of the hill, pretend gun
halfway down the hill,
getting shot
five-minute stagger
then die
we traded
joys and boredom
we didn’t time it
it just worked

older now
three-hour phone calls
joyous laughter
talking jazz
sharing secrets
total trust
being heard
accepted
loved
as is

alone now
missing his
sparkling eyes
crooked smile
his laughter
grateful he was here
for blessed
glorious
forty-three years
real love and joy
acceptance
adventures
mischief
for blessed
glorious
forty-three years
of
Doug

2 Comments »

  1. Happy Birthday, Doug. I love your musings about him and your time together.. He was totally full of life, love, laughter, inventiveness, spunk, trouble, joy and people were drawn to him. I was always so proud when he introduced me as his best friend to newer people in our circle. It made me feel so valued; like I was his “inner circle” guy and he was mine. He was just “cool”. He would write his own amazing songs; create his own jazz fusion… things like that that just blew me away. When he would decorate his house for Christmas, he would make sure to do this crazy, unorganized string of lights, so that he didn’t just look like every other house on the street. He was an artist at his work… people would come in and ask for him by name, because they knew he was the best at what he did. He would arrange special deals with his providers so he would get the best pickins from their crops. Everything he did, he did with excellence. Even his Miami Dolphins Christmas Tree! :) Doug is truly missed. Bobby.

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